


are our foundations destined to keep crumbling

by rainydayscribbles



Series: alternatively, madness [3]
Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Banter, Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Musical References, Oh also, Pining, also ben-shira platonic male/female friendship vibes, also this starts off w a soft moment between them, and, anywho i tried my hand at a few metaphors, bc i tried that out and am now in love, bc those are the vibes, bc we love el, but choosing a title for this took me 3 days no joke, but it is still enemies to lovers lol dw, i could've posted this in chapters but i wrote it so fast i ended up not doing that, i wrote this during a tropical storm, not too many but just a tad sprinkled throughout, one or two rom com tropes in here as well, thats all happy reading, you know me with the adult b/d AU vibes constantly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25774594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainydayscribbles/pseuds/rainydayscribbles
Summary: Due to a chance meeting during a car accident, Ben Gross and Devi Vishwakumar deal with legal entanglements, overlapping friend groups, and chaos in the aftermath.
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Series: alternatively, madness [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894261
Comments: 15
Kudos: 62





	are our foundations destined to keep crumbling

**Author's Note:**

> so a tropical storm tore through the southeast a few days ago, and true to my pseud i had do a lil ben/devi writing while it rained (so therapeutic btw but thats another conversation). this is another adult AU bc i can’t help myself but i think this just might be my fav one i've written so far
> 
> things to note ab the couples in dis: fab and eve are married asf, shira and zoe are also dating bc not only do my queers need more rep but i saw another writer on here pair them and lowkey ship them now :) (wlw for the win hehe). also this starts out with a lil pax/devi is eventual pax/el bc how can you not love them. anywho if you love rarepairs this fic is 4 u lol
> 
> if you’re a healthcare professional or in a legal profession, i rlly did try my best with this lmao and thats all i can say i do be apologizing in advance
> 
> also i did want to take a second and say please do all that you can to support lebanon right now. the beirut explosion has left over 300,000 people homeless due to the damage to their homes, apartments, and buildings. here's a link to donate to the lebanese red cross if you are able: https://www.supportlrc.app/donate/ 
> 
> title from helium by glass animals

It started with a crash, quite literally, and Devi can't help but feel that there was some sort of figurative meaning there, as if they were two stars colliding violently, prompting the universe to explode with their combined momentum.

Devi walks out of the regional hospital after a thirty-hour shift, not bothering to change out of her scrubs, heading straight for her grey Honda Accord. She sighs as she leans back in the seat, letting her eyes take in the sight of something other than harsh lights and off-white hospital walls. Putting on some Hozier, she starts her car and pulls out of the parking lot, taking the back road homes instead of the highway.

The sun was beginning to set, but considering it was Southern California, there was still a decent amount of light out. Despite the large coffee she'd picked up from the hospital cafeteria to tide her over through the last few hours of her shift, Devi's eyes kept slipping closed. All she wanted to do was get home and get a few hours of sleep in before her next unbearably long shift. Intern year sucked _ass_.

Not to mention she hadn't gone on a date in over a month, Nalini was constantly mad at her for something or the other, and she barely had time for her friends anymore. Devi can't even think about her problems outside of work without wanting an escape, but she hasn't found one yet.

She takes the left to turn onto her street without completely looking both directions, which was her first mistake. More would come later on, both big and small.

No less than a second later, she hears a loud bang as something crashes into the passenger side of her car. She doesn't have time to look to the side as her car spins, the impact pushing it a few feet to the left. Thankfully, it doesn't turn over, or even raise up off the ground, but as soon as it stops moving, Devi closes her eyes.

She tries to think, to process, to connect the dots. She just got in an accident, and she's not hurt, save for her erratic heartbeat, but she was so _fucking_ close to her apartment. And she's _tired_. The combination of these two things soon morphs into uncontrollable anger, and she gets out of her car and slams the door, walking around it to face whoever she needed to.

The driver in question is still in their car—a Porsche Cayenne. Devi wrinkles her eyebrows as she draws closer, examining the person inside. A head of brown hair is slumped over on the steering wheel, hands gripping the sides of the wheel. She pulls open the door and stares at the driver for a quick second.

Messy brown hair and pale skin, large hands. Navy blue suit with matching tie, Rolex on his wrist, shiny dress shoes. Something like silver glints for a second around his neck, catching her eye.

What she realizes soon though, is that he's breathing, fast and shallow, beads of sweat are visible on his neck, and his hands are wrapped around the wheel so tight his knuckles are blaring white.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god," he repeats, eyes closed tightly.

Devi pulls herself out of her thoughts and quickly springs into action.

"Hey, hey, hey. You're okay. You're doing okay," she says soothingly, making sure to stand a little away from him.

The voice cuts off but he turns his head and opens his eyes, tentatively looking at Devi. She's struck a little by his blue orbs, startlingly azure, but the rest of his face looks wrecked enough that she ground herself quickly.

"Hi. You're okay. You just have to breathe. Can you do that for me?"

She watches him shakily inhale and exhale and she smiles gently.

"That's great. You're doing great. One more time for me, okay?"

He does as instructed and Devi finds her own heartbeat slowing down as she watches him visibly calm down. Although she knows it's probably not best to leave him here when he's having a panic attack, she wishes she'd brought her doctor's bag with her, forgetting it in her anger. She crouches down so she's at eye level with him before asking her next question.

"I'm gonna run to my car to get my bag okay? It'll take just five seconds, I promise. Is it okay if I do that?"

She watches him nod imperceptibly, eyes still tracking her face. As she runs to her car, she wonders briefly if she should call an ambulance. He didn't look injured, just shocked and slightly panicked, and neither was she. She rules against it for now. She'd examine him fully when he calmed down.

Grabbing her bag, phone, and a bottle of water from her backseat, she hurries back to his car.

His eyes are closed and his skin is ghostly white, sweat running down the side of his head. She is already cursing herself for running out on him when he opens his eyes and grabs her left hand, nails digging into her palm as if it's his lifeline.

"Don't leave again," he breathes out, so quietly she could barely hear it.

Devi ignores the pain she feels in her hand and instead rushes to apologize. "I'm so sorry. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm so sorry."

She crouches down in front of him, dropping to her knees and pulling out her stethoscope from her bag. For a moment, she's not quite sure if he wants space or contact, but she needed to get his heart rate soon. She'd waited too long as it was.

"What's your name?" she asks, closing her left hand around his palm.

"B—Ben," he stammers out. "Ben Gross."

"Okay, Ben. My name is Devi. I'm a doctor. You're doing great, okay? I just need to check your heart rate," she says, leaning forward. She waits for a few seconds, counting the beats. 130 beats per minute. Not terrible. Not great, either.

"Your heart rate is coming down. How're you feeling?" she asks.

He doesn't immediately respond, just tightens his grip on her hand. After a few seconds, he turns his body to her, feet dropping down to press against the concrete.

"It's too hot," he pants.

Devi inhales a quick breath and manages to push his blazer off his shoulder with a hand. He lets go of her hand to let her take it off. She is just about to toss it in his backseat when he shoots her a slightly panicked look and she folds it quickly instead, placing it on the seat carefully.

She raises her hands to his tie, shakily untying it. "I'm gonna undo your tie, okay? It might help you breathe a little easier."

He doesn't say anything, just watches her, his gaze heavy. Devi tries not to feel unsettled by the desperate way he's staring at her, but she can't understand why her stomach feels like a tangle of nerves as she tosses his tie next to his blazer.

Then, she grabs the water bottle and unscrews it, offering it to Ben. He takes it silently, taking a few sips and closing his eyes.

"Can you keep talking?" Ben asks softly, leaning forward to grab her left hand again.

"Yes," she says back, still feeling a little jumpy. "Yes, sure. What do you want me to talk about?"

"Anything. Just not—not hospital stuff, please."

She furrows her eyebrows before realizing she's still in her scrubs from work and chuckles a little. "What? You're telling me you _don't_ like hearing about sick people and broken bones and blood?"

He visibly shivers, which makes her feel a little bad for messing with him at this moment, when he's clearly so vulnerable. But then he starts tracing the lines on the inside of her palm, and even though Devi tries not to let the action bother her, her heart was defiantly beating faster as a result. Maybe she needed to check her heartbeat instead of his.

"Well, I can talk to you about, um, well, _okay,_ I can tell you about q—quantum physics," she begins hesitantly. The only that was swimming in her mind right now was surgery protocols and panic attack symptoms, but the basic principles of quantum mechanics were always simple enough for her to recite.

"Ok," he says softly, sounding the slightest bit intrigued.

She pulls the stethoscope from her ear and places it around her neck, noting that the sun was setting, darkness bleeding in from behind the clouds.

"So, basically, quantum physics began with the introduction of Einstein's theory of relativity, at the start of the 20th century. In that theory, he discussed the combination of math and physics, mainly focusing on how things move at really high speeds. But, as time went on, different scientists came up with a few postulates about the basics of quantum physics."

Ben takes another sip of water, eyes still shut. Devi notes that he's not sweating as profusely before she keeps going.

"So there are three basic properties to quantum physics. The first is quantized properties. These say that some properties, such as position and speed, can only exist as steps or quanta. They exist in certain quantities, but they can't in halves or thirds. It's like all or nothing, kinda. But, anyway, the person who discovered these so-called quanta is Max Planck, who conducted an experiment looking at the way colors were distributed over a spectrum. He used a mathematical equation to describe his findings and realized that colors were emitted in certain multiples, which made them quantized. This was revolutionary because most people before him thought of light as a wave, as a continuous spectrum, instead of a quantized one."

He hums a little, sitting up straighter. "But light is also a particle, right?"

Devi ignores the way the concrete is digging into her knees as she sits back on her heels.

"Exactly. So the second postulate was exactly that: particles of light. Einstein first introduced this when he theorized that there was something called the photoelectric effect, which defined the particles of light as photons. But the way he found this out was through envisioning light as the quanta I told you about before. Using Planck's constant, he realized he could find the energy difference of the jump between quanta, and he used it to explain how specific colors of light can eject electrons off of metal surfaces. This allowed physicists who came after to confirm that light could be both a wave and a particle."

"Which physicist?" Ben asks.

"Andrew Compton, mainly."

He nods, drinking some more of the water, and Devi leans forward to take his heart rate again before he pushes the plastic bottle against her stethoscope, stopping her.

"Nope, not yet. You still need to tell me about the third postulate," he says, voice with a hint of merriment to it.

She resists the urge to roll her eyes. "Okay, fine. So, the third one is waves of matter. This one says that matter can act as a wave as well, which counters the argument that matter can exist as only a particle. When light's wave-particle duality was discovered, physicists started to wonder if matter had a similar property. So in 1924, Louis de Broglie used the equations that Einstein came up with to show that particles can behave like waves and that waves can behave like particles. Then, scientists started discovering matrix mechanics and wave mechanics, which eventually led to the field of quantum chemistry."

"Little weak ending there, but I'll take it," Ben says, much more distinctly now, as she tilts forward once again.

Devi scrunches her nose at him as she counts the beats of his heart. 80 beats per minute. She'd take it if he would.

"Your heartbeat is a lot more stable now. How are you feeling?"

"Better. I think I'm good now," he says, letting go of her hand to reach into his glove compartment and pull out a few napkins. "That was the worst panic attack of my life, though."

She watches him wipe the sweat off his face before answering. "You took it pretty well, considering."

"I'm sure the marks in your palm echo that statement."

Devi glances down to look at the red, fingernail shaped gashes in her hand, having just remembered them. They were fine, save for a few that were bleeding a little. "Eh, it's fine. They're not even that deep."

"You said you were a doctor, right?" he asks, turning back to her, leaning his head against the seat.

"Yeah," she replies. "Why do you ask?"

"Just cause I read something about doctors being the worst patients," he says. Then, he gestures to her legs. "Aren't your knees getting numb?"

Her knees _were_ a tad numb, and the cuts in her palm were stinging a little, but she still needed to make sure he was okay.

"I'm fine. Do you feel hurt? Nothing is broken or anything, right?"

"Oh, no, yes, I actually _just_ remembered I broke my leg. Ah, the unbearable pain."

Devi bites the inside of her cheek at his sarcasm. "Well, I'm still gonna check, just to make sure. Is that okay with you?"

Ben rolls his eyes. "Go on, Doc."

"Okay, follow my finger."

She checks for a concussion and then reaches around his neck to gently prod at the muscle there, making sure there was no whiplash. Just as she's lightly running her hands down his chest, she makes the mistake of looking up at him for just a split second.

He's smirking at her.

And she thinks it's just the slightest bit attractive.

She cuts that thought off just as quickly as it comes.

"If you already knew about quantum physics, then why'd you ask me to tell you about it?" she asks to start conversation, hoping her tone is casual.

"I didn't ask you to tell me about it. I said talk to me about _anything_ , and then you started explaining to me the most basic principles of quantum physics as if I was a dumbass."

"Well, forgive me for trying to keep you calm so you didn't die," she mutters to herself, so low she can barely hear it.

Ben picks up on it, somehow, and laughs. "God complex, much?"

"Aw, that's cute," Devi volleys back, recovering quickly. "Did you get that from Grey's Anatomy?"

His eyes harden a little, giving her the answer. She finishes examining him and stands up, gripping onto the side of his car door for support as the blood rushed to her sore knees. He stands up as well, just a few inches away from her.

"Well, am I okay? Don't tell me I'm going to die now," he asks brashly.

She stares at his face a little, taken aback by the sudden change in his disposition. _Had she just imagined what had happened no less than a minute ago?_

"There are no apparent injuries," Devi says tightly. "But you should go to your primary care physician sometime within the upcoming week to make sure you don't have any impending issues."

"Thanks, Doc," he quips brightly. "What a _lifesaver_."

Ben moves around her then, pulling out his phone. "We should call the police," he says, dialing the number.

"The p—police?" Devi stammers. "Do you really think that's necessary?"

He looks at her as if she'd just sprouted an extra head, phone already to his ear and ringing. "Um, yes. We need to get a police report if I want to have a chance in court. Besides, it's California state law. "

"A chance? What—what do you mean a chance? _You_ hit me!" she tries adamantly, but he shushes her with a finger as he reports the address and the details of the accident to the operator.

She scoffs and picks up her stuff, strutting over to her car to throw it in the backseat. Then, she grabs her phone and takes pictures of the damage to the passenger's side, trying to stay calm. She sees Ben doing the same thing out of the corner of her eye, but he has a better angle than her, so she tosses her hair and aims to mimic it.

After a few minutes, a voice behind her makes her jump. "I need your number so I contact you about the accident."

Devi turns and punches her contact into his phone while refusing to make eye contact with him.

"What about insurance stuff?"

He raises an eyebrow at her. "Insurance stuff?"

She waves her hand in the air impatiently. "You know like insurance company names and all that? And your address and stuff? Shouldn't we be exchanging information instead of just standing here?"

Ben cocks his head at her curiously. "Is this the first accident you've been in?"

Save for the time she'd grazed the side of her neighbor's mailbox during junior year of high school, it was.

"No," she scoffs offhandedly. "I've been in a ton before. Not—not like an unnatural amount of accidents, or anything, but like a normal amount. You know, like…. nine."

He raises both eyebrows at her, holding back a smile. "Nine?"

"Yeah," she shrugs casually, realizing that nine was probably a tad too high to be convincing. "I'm well versed in accidents, don't worry."

"I'm not worried."

They turn back to their respective cars, Devi flushing a little in a combination of anger and embarrassment. She notices the sun is almost fully set now and the street was dark. Thankfully, no other cars had come down it, considering it was a back road, but she couldn't rule out that one eventually might. Against her will, she moves a few feet closer to Ben, ruling that a driver would be more likely to see two people instead of one.

She's thinking about the way his hand felt in hers and how he'd asked her not to leave again when she sees the police car pull up. Moving to stand near Ben, not _next_ to him, but near him, she crosses her arms.

"Hello," the officer greets them gruffly, stepping out of his car. "What are your names?"

"Benjamin Gross."

"Devi Vishwakumar."

"Benjamin Gross and David Vishwakumar," the officer repeats tiredly, scribbling on his clipboard.

"Oh no, not David, sir," she rushes to correct him. " _Devi_. D-e-v-i."

From her left, Ben snorts a little as the man glumly crosses out and rewrites. Devi tries not to glare at Ben as they give him their addresses, phone numbers, and driver's license numbers. The man then asks for their license plate and vehicle identification numbers and what seems like a litany of other identifications.

While she haphazardly digs out rumpled pieces of paper from her glovebox, Ben produces unwrinkled papers from a folder, looking calm and collected. Devi simmers internally as the minutes pass, feeling more and more like a pot about to boil over.

"Okay, almost done," the officer says. "Last question. Who caused the crash?"

"Oh, easy; he did," Devi says, at the same time Ben declares, "it was her, obviously."

They whip their heads around to glare darkly at each other for a few seconds, expressions quite the same.

"Can I have a second to speak to the other driver, please?" Ben asks the officer, voice injected with feigned charisma.

The man eyes the two of them heavily for a few seconds, before he slowly nods, turning to walk back to his car.

Ben grabs her by the forearm and drags her further away from the officer.

"What the hell are you doing?" he demands, gripping her arm tightly.

The first thing she notices is the anger evident in his eyes—blue fire. It throws her slightly off her balance, but the bite in his words bring her back down.

"Excuse _me_? I'm defending myself," she whispers back furiously. "You're the one who T-boned me!"

"I wouldn't have done it if you looked before you turned, _David_."

"I can't fucking believe you're blaming me for this," she responds, ignoring him intentionally not calling her by her name. "You hit my car!"

"I'm not blaming anyone," he bites, leaning closer to her. "But this wouldn't have happened if you were paying attention to driving and not listening to your absurdly loud music."

"Now you're just making up excuses! Why does it matter if I'm listening to music?"

"The issue here is not that you were listening to it, but that it was _loud_. It has been scientifically proven that loud music distracts drivers. A Canadian research study discovered that loud music delayed people's reaction times by up to 20%."

She wrinkles her eyebrows. "I was listening to Hozier, for god's sake! He doesn't even sing that high."

"Again, it's not about the pitch of the music, rather the volume that you were playing it at," he says slowly, as if speaking to a child throwing a tantrum.

"Okay, but you can't even use that as an argument"—

"Have you two decided who is at fault for the accident?" the officer asks, standing in front of them once again.

Devi gulps but Ben turns to the man, smiling with ease.

"We are going to reconvene and talk through the accident in the morning when we both have clearer minds to determine liability," Ben says, with an aura of confidence. "In the meantime, though, you can take our statements."

"Ok, fine," the man sighs, looking almost as spiffed at Ben as Devi feels. Then he points at her. "You first."

She follows the man and tries her best to answer his questions honestly and accurately, tiredly including the fact that Ben had a panic attack. The officer looks at her doubtfully, but he seems annoyed enough to not protest, just scribbling down more notes. He takes Ben's statement next, which takes four minutes longer than hers (she counts, if only for the sake of defending herself in court). Then, he sighs, eyeing the two of them.

"You need to exchange insurance information and notify the DMV within the next 10 days," he says, tucking his pen into his shirt pocket. "And you both look fine to me, but make sure you get checked out by a physician sometime soon."

They nod and he retreats to his car, getting in and driving away just as quickly as he had come.

"So," Devi begins hesitantly, wringing her hands. "What do we do next?"

"Well, let's see," he says, leaning against the side of his car and patting his cheek mock thoughtfully. "We get each other's insurance information and file insurance claims. The insurance company will base its conclusion on the police report issued in the wake of the incident, and my statement is going to be more convincing than yours, so the blame is going to be put on you. Then, you are going to have to fight the ticket in court, so you'll need a lawyer. Judging by the way you look, you're relatively young, so you have to be an intern or a second-year resident. I know they're not paying you guys that much that early, so you'll probably get a shitty accident attorney. Your attorney will make you do all these time-consuming things, including talking to retired police offers with you, hiring investigators for you to talk to, maybe even making you come here and reenact the scene of the accident. You'll spend tons of time and money assembling the best case, trying to get the most money, and in the end, I'll _still_ win."

She's sure her face is flushed red, despite her tan skin and the fact that it was positively dark outside now.

"How—how do you know all this?"

He laughs, loud and almost cruel, as he opens his door. "I'm an attorney. But I would expect a doctor who's been in nine accidents to already know all this, too."

Devi flounders as he closes his door and starts his engine, driving away from her.

"See you in court, David!" he shouts out his window.

-

Devi can't help but be mad at him, angry with him, _infuriated_ even.

"And then—then he just drove off!" she says shrilly into her phone, simultaneously pouring coffee in her to-go mug.

"He sounds like a major asshole," Fab mutters back, albeit tiredly. For a second, Devi feels bad for calling her first thing in the morning to recount her story, but she really needed a voice of reason at the moment. She was more stressed about this case than she had expected to be.And as much as she loved Eleanor, she was not _great_ at being a voice of reason. Devi would call her later, when she wanted to rave about the dramatics of this movie-esque car accident she'd gotten into.

"What do I do?" she all but wails, scrambling eggs on a pan now.

"Honestly? Exactly what he said," Fab replies briskly.

"You want me to lose the case and shell out thousands of dollars to him?" Devi deadpans. "I doubt he even needs the money. He was wearing a Rolex and driving a Porsche Cayenne."

"Not that part, Devi. I think you should get an attorney. They'll tell you what to do and talk you through things. You'll be a lot less stressed."

Devi sighs. "You're right."

"Besides, it's not about who needs the money. It's about who caused the accident. I trust that it'll be okay in the end. I'm just glad you're not hurt."

"Thanks, Fab. I've got to go now. Sorry for calling you so early. Tell Eve thank you again."

"It's all good, Devi. Take care."

Devi finishes making her breakfast and sits down to hurriedly eat it, scrolling through her phone at the same time, trying to look for accident lawyers. Then, she grabs her coffee and pushes her way out of her door to wait for her ride.

A grey Ford arrives not soon after, and Devi sighs, stepping into the car.

"Thanks for driving me," she says.

"Don't mention it," Eve says back. "Fab had me on speaker, but I was getting ready so I only heard bits and pieces."

"Sorry for stealing her from you so early in the day."

"Oh, it's fine. I'm usually too pissy to talk to her in the morning, anyway. It takes me a little to adjust."

Devi smiles. "Same with me."

"I'm happy you're safe. We've definitely seen the worst of accidents at the hospital." She pauses to merge into a new lane. "Are you sure you're okay, though?"

"I'm _fine_ , stop worrying, seriously."

Eve looks at her hesitantly before her gaze shoots downwards. " _God_ , did someone stab your hand?"

"Ha, ha. I know you're joking but it's nowhere near that bad."

Eve ignores her and looks closer at it while they wait at a red light. "You're bleeding. Also, are those fingernail marks?"

"Yeah. From the other guy, Ben. He was having a pretty bad panic attack, and he digs his nails into my hand, for like, fifteen minutes while I tell him about quantum mechanics to calm him down."

"How adorable."

"No. It's really _not_ adorable. His heart rate comes down, and the second it does, he starts hurling insults at me."

"Damn, that's gotta be tough," Eve says back, sympathizingly. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," she sighs, slumping in her seat. "Just waited for him to call the police and all. Even though I really wanted to punch him."

"Well, that's good. It's probably not best to get into a fight with the same guy who just crashed into you. Doesn't help your side in court."

"Oh, I could've taken him. He wasn't that big."

Eve starts to laugh, but it breaks off into a yawn.

Devi looks over to smile at her. "Has Fab gotten used to the fact that you get the worst shifts ever?"

"Oh yeah, for sure. It was the same routine in med school. She's got it down by now."

"Makes sense," Devi says, as they pull into the hospital parking lot. "Hopefully we get to see something cool today. "

Eve groans as she parks and opens the door. "As long as I'm not suturing all day, I'm good."

-

Ben's not quite sure what he's doing waiting in the hospital lobby with a coffee in his hand. All he knows is that he can't bring himself to leave.

After his car accident last night, which would more accurately be described as a roller coaster of emotions, he'd been unable to sleep, thinking about concerned brown eyes, a soft gentle touch, and his parting angry monologue.

He hadn't meant to be mean. But Devi had looked at him with the most hopeless look on his face, asking him what she was supposed to do, and he had felt his heart twinge for some unfathomable reason. So instead of softening, he'd lashed out, ranting about how he was going to take thousands of dollars from her, and getting in his car to drive away from her as fast as possible.

Then, he'd texted her a few times throughout the day asking for her insurance information, but she hadn't responded, even though he'd called her once during his lunch break.

So, he'd gone home after work, and instead of waiting for her to respond like a normal, sane person would, he'd called all the hospitals within a twenty-mile radius, asking if a doctor named Devi Vishwakumar worked there. There'd been a fair amount, since they lived in one of the most notable regions for medicine in the country.

He'd drove to the hospital right when the lady on the phone had said her shift had ended, and he'd been sitting in the lobby for about thirty minutes when he'd bought himself a coffee. He paused, realized he should probably get her one too. Ben had no idea what she liked, and considered getting her a chai latte, but opted against it with the worry of being stereotypical.

Now, it'd been over an hour, and he'd drank his iced Americano and her iced vanilla latte had melted completely, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He's shaking from the coffee, trying to focus on reading the Wall Street Journal on his phone, and not on the musty, almost sickening smell of the hospital.

A laugh echoes in the nearly empty lobby and he jerks his head up to see Devi smiling, walking next to a woman with blonde hair. He pauses for a second, noting how her face changed when she laughed, the expanse of her neck soft and graceful, almost like a swan's. She notices him a second after he sees her and her expression immediately sours.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she asks, stopping in front of him.

He realizes he hadn't exactly prepared a response to this. "You weren't answering m—my texts."

She looks at him like he's gone literally insane. "Well, yeah, because I was working through lunch and I just got off twenty minutes ago."

"Oh, well, now that I'm here, we can exchange insurance information and all. It shouldn't take that long."

Before Devi can say anything, the blonde woman next to her speaks, anger evident in her eyes.

"Oh, are _you_ Ben? You are such a douche," she says, stepping closer to him. "I would wring your neck if we weren't in a hospital and my boss wasn't ten feet away from me."

He almost takes a step back at the rage on her face, but instead forces himself to stand there, blinking at her rapidly.

"Eve, it's fine," Devi says tiredly.

For a split second, he's a little mad Devi's not defending him more strongly, but he realizes he's not really worth the defense, not after last night.

"So, David," Ben says pointedly, clearing his throat. "Did you find an attorney?"

She pins him a glum look. "I've been trying. It's _literally_ been a day. Don't tell me you have one already."

He's sure he's flushing as he reaches a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "The quicker you get one with things like this the better. But, uh, my dad offered to ask one of his friends so uh, I might go with him."

"Your dad's friend is a car accident lawyer?"

"Well, yeah. My dad's an attorney, so most of his friends are too."

He watches her raise an eyebrow, annoyance evident on her face. "Aw. Does being a pain in the ass run in the family too?"

Her friend snorts as Ben tries to think of something to say back. "Don't talk about my dad that way."

Devi stares at him, unimpressed, and he sighs, bringing out his wallet to rifle through it before he can think too much of it. Pulling out a business card from the back, he offers it to her tentatively.

"This is a buddy of mine who I went to law school with. He's one of the only car accident attorneys I know but he's good at what he does."

She pins him a look that almost makes him snatch his hand back before the blonde woman (Eve?) reaches forward and grabs it from him.

"Paxton Hall-Yoshida," she announces, reading the card.

"Okay, _woah_ ," Devi says, looking at the picture in awe. "He's pretty hot."

"Oh, for sure," Eve echoes. "Almost hot enough for me to consider cheating on my wife."

The girls giggle to each other while Ben looks between the two of them, trying to understand why something in the pit of his stomach felt a little heavy at Devi's words.

"Speaking of Fab, you should go home. Spend time with her and get some rest," Devi says.

"Are you sure? I can wait," Eve responds.

"No, no, you really should. It's been a long shift," she replies, almost more to herself. "I'll get a Lyft, don't worry."

Eve nods, and with a final threatening glance at Ben, she walks away, exiting through the hospital doors.

"By the way, you probably shouldn't base your choice of attorney on attractiveness," he says to Devi.

"I'll do whatever the fuck I want, Gross. Is that for me?" she replies, gesturing to the melted vanilla coffee.

"Oh, um, yeah," he almost drops it in his hurry to hand it to her. "I figured it was the least I could do. You know, for……yeah."

Devi looks at him with a mixture of confusion and amusement on her face, as if she's trying to figure him out but having the time of her life doing it. "Too bad I usually drink a chai latte."

Ben swears his heart jumps a little at the thought of guessing something about her correctly, before he pushes it down just as quickly as it happens. He was supposed to hate her. Well, not _hate_ her per se, but dislike her immensely. People who won cases didn't do it while being buddy-buddy with the opposition.

"Well, I'm not here to cater to your likes and dislikes. I'm here to get my information and leave," he announces, pulling his suit jacket a little closer to himself.

She rolls her eyes and walks over to a table, sitting down. He follows her, pulling out a folder and a pen.

"You have a folder for this shit?" Devi asks, glancing at the small emblem on it. "You went to Yale? This explains _so_ much about you, oh my god."

He swats her hand away from his folder. "Yes, for undergrad and law school. But I grew up here."

"No kidding," she says back a little _too_ curiously, as if this was speed dating instead of two drivers exchanging insurance information. "I did too. Stanford for undergrad and med school, though, but now I'm back here. Valley for life, baby."

Ben tries his best to look unimpressed he pulls out a piece of paper and a pen. He had no clue why she was oversharing, but he noted this information in the back of his mind anyway.

"Here's my card if you need to contact me, by the way," he says, handing it over to her. "Now, can you write all your insurance information down on this?"

She does so, and after a torn page, empty accusations on each of their parts, and an almost broken pen later, they're done. The whole process should have taken less than ten minutes, but with their arguing, it ended up being closer to thirty. Still, Ben feels a little ambivalent, for some reason, about leaving her in the lobby by herself.

"I can, uh, give you a ride," he offers as they walk towards the exit, before he can second think it. "If you want, of course."

Devi glances back at him, her expression almost disgusted. "You crashed into my car. How would you give me a ride?"

"Um, I actually have two cars," he murmurs softly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"What was that?"

He tries not to audibly groan at the teasing lilt in her voice. "I have _two_ cars. I drove the other one here."

She furrows her eyebrows and bites her lip, seemingly thinking out the situation. Ben tries not to stare, but the way she looks right now, thoughtful and the most unguarded he's ever seen her, is well, attra—nice— _tolerable_.

"Okay," she agrees, and starts walking to the parking lot.

He stands in the same spot for a second, a little dumbfounded, before he rushes to catch up with her.

"So, tell me the deal with your two cars, Ben."

"Oh, um, well, yeah. My dad bought me the Porsche when I graduated from law school, as a gift, but I don't really like it. I, uh, don't actually drive it that often."

"Really? Why not? Not lavish enough for you?"

"It's just not my style, that's all. I'm not big on showing off all the time."

"You wear a Rolex," she deadpans.

"Yes, but _that_ I bought for myself," he says, floundering. "I don't like it when other people buy things for me. Well, not all other people, j—just my dad, mainly."

"Aw, not a daddy's money boy after all, are you?"

He tries to take a deep breath. "Not if the intentions aren't right."

Devi glances at him with another ambivalent look on her face but doesn't say anything as they get into his BMW. He really needed to cut down on the oversharing, but the way that she kept looking at him made him feel, well, almost _safe_ , in a way, and he kept spewing out unnecessary bullshit. Maybe it's why he needed her so close to him when he was having his panic attack.

Ben backs out of his spot and pulls onto the highway, trying not to look at Devi's hands. Her fingers flex while pressing buttons on his console, adjusting the AC as it was her own car. They were long and graceful, nimble, but the bandage across the center of her palm doesn't do much but remind him of last night's accident and his awful words.

"So, David," he begins, in a pitiful attempt to be casual. "How was your, um, shift?"

She leans back on the headrest to stare at the ceiling, but surprisingly doesn't react overtly terribly to his question. "Long. Tiring. But if you think I'm not alert enough to make sure you don't try to kill me so you can win this case, think again."

"I would never. I'm a gentleman. If I wanted to kill you, I'd do it the right way."

"And what would that be?"

"Short. Simple. Shoot you straight in your heart."

"Too bad I know how to sew up gunshot wounds."

"Ah. Poison?"

"That's just way too predictable. As if I'd eat or drink anything you offered me."

He glances at the coffee in her hand, which is already half-finished, and something inside him warms a little.

"Guess we just have to do it old school then. Fight till the death like Spartans."

"Don't even act like I wouldn't be able to take you. You're essentially my height."

He tightens his grip on the steering wheel, gritting his teeth. "I know you didn't just say that."

"I did, though," she replies, amusement evident in her voice. "What are you gonna do, whine about it?"

"I'm definitely taller than you. I remember seeing the top of your head when I stood up. Nice dandruff, by the way."

"Only in your dreams, Gross. You're also the human embodiment of a twig, so."

Ben turns into her apartment complex, remembering the location from the accident, and slows down for her to give him directions. She lifts a finger, smirking, and he turns. He pulls into a spot and parks.

"If I'm the embodiment of a twig," he says quietly, turning to her. "How'd I cut your hand so deep yesterday?"

Devi stops gathering up her things and looks at him, eyes laden with annoyance. "I dunno. Maybe because you held onto it, for like, _twenty_ _years_."

Ben doesn't know what possesses him to reach for her hand, but he does so. She stares back at him with wide eyes, obviously confused, and he moves, gently running his thumb over the white bandage. "I know. I shouldn't have done that, by the way."

The sun is pretty much gone from the sky now, having fled long back, but the streetlights near her apartment illuminate the car slightly. The shadows dance along Devi's face as she looks at him. Her eyes are golden brown, tinted with warm yellow from the light, and Ben is just noting how warm and small her hand is when she speaks.

"Is this your way of apologizing?" she says, softly, eyes darting across his face. "I thought that was what the coffee was for."

He wasn't really sure what the coffee was for, or the car ride either. Maybe it was to ease his immense guilt.

The thing was, he couldn't figure out why he felt guilty. He hadn't done anything wrong.

"Well, I thought I should do you one better," he says, leaning forward a tad more. "You know, going above and beyond and all that."

She snorts then, and the moment is broken as he clears his throat and lets go of her hand. Devi grabs her things and gets out of the car, walking away.

"By the way," she calls out, turning around to look at him while she walks backward. "Hate your BMW. I might have to crash into you for a change. Just so, you know, you can get a new car. I'd honestly be doing you a favor."

He almost smiles at the comment before a wave, seemingly of common sense, hits him. He's going to court against her. If he wanted to win this case, he needed to cut it out with the hand-holding and coffee-bringing. Who _was_ he, her friend? Definitely not. Just a stranger he had crashed into a day earlier. In a way, they were enemies.

If he kept on with this softness, there's no way he'd win this case. And he wanted to win not because of the money, because he had plenty of it, but because he hadn't lost a case in his three years of practicing law. His first one _certainly_ wasn't going to be to a doctor who had no idea what she was doing when it came to legal matters.

Ben salutes back at her halfheartedly, resolving to focus on hating Devi.

-

The thing about resolutions, it seemed, was that they never worked out.

At least not for Ben, anyway.

Like the time Ben was fifteen and his dad bailed on his acapella concert (the first time) and he resolved to stand up for himself and explain his feelings.

Or the time Ben was named valedictorian at high school graduation and although Patty brought a camera and flowers, he couldn't help but go home to an empty house and cry for hours, even though he'd spent days promising himself he wouldn't get his hopes up.

Or when he and his therapist spent months discussing ways to make friends in college, but he'd clammed up inexplicably every time he'd tried to try out any of the techniques in real life, succumbing to the fact that he might just never find any close friends.

So, yeah, resolutions and Ben Gross didn't exactly mix.

Which is why he wasn't too surprised to see Devi Vishwakumar at the grocery store the next Friday, exactly even a week after he had first met her.

He'd not had a good week, between a hectic work schedule which had taken the life out of him with stressful cases. Then, he'd somehow found time to meet his dad's car accident attorney friend, who'd spent more time rambling on about how kind and funny his dad was than helping him with his case, which did nothing but wind Ben up. He knew it wasn't his fault his dad wasn't there for him, but hearing about the stronger qualities from an old man, having had no experience with them himself, hurt a little.

The final straw had been his date earlier tonight, in which the woman had met him for dinner and proceeded to chatter all throughout about her cats and outfits for them which she hand-sewed, showing him pictures to supplement her story.

Ben had just gotten home, after having relatively no time to eat his food, and realized he had nothing in his fridge save for some oat milk and a bag of carrots. So, that's how he found himself grocery shopping at ten pm on a Friday, walking through the aisles almost aimlessly.

He's just turned into the snacks aisle to pick up some protein bars when Devi's standing there, piling multiple bags of Takis into her cart. She doesn't see him for a few seconds, and he's so surprised that he remains rooted to the spot, taking her in.

In a way, she looks different at this moment, more comfortable in her element. She's dressed casually, in a Stanford sweatshirt and athletic shorts, and Ben realizes it's the first time he's seen her in something other than scrubs. It's weirdly almost intimate, as if he's getting a glimpse into her life he's not supposed to have, seeing a side of her he's not supposed to see. A side where she's not just a feisty doctor who works long shifts and drinks chai lattes and gets in car accidents with him.

Then, Devi looks up at him and her eyes narrow. "Gross."

"Hi," he begins, albeit pathetically. "What are you doing here?"

"Grocery shopping," she deadpans, in the way that he's starting to get used to. "As one does in a grocery store."

He ignores the way her tone almost makes him smile—correction, _throw up_ —and instead peers into her cart. "Takis and pink wine? That's all you're buying?"

"I don't need you to tell me how to grocery shop, Ben," she sneers as she glances at his basket. "Besides all you have are fruit and protein bars. Those being RXBars, which makes you automatically invalid."

"They're the best protein bars! They have 12 grams of protein per bar!" he says back defiantly.

"Yeah, they're also, like, known for being the protein bars that little white boys buy to convince people they're fitness buffs."

He steps closer to her, just a few inches away from her smirk now. "I will not hesitate to pick you up and throw you out of this store, David."

"Aw, how scary," she says, eyes dancing. "I could put that on record. You know, for court. Verbal threats of physical abuse."

He knows she's technically correct, but the almost heady way she's staring at him shows him it's an empty threat. Ben smirks then, and the way her face changes for a fraction of second shows him she knows it is too.

"You could try. If you don't pass out by then from eating nothing but incredibly spicy chips."

"Oh, please, Gross. Just try them." Devi grabs a bag of Takis and throws it in his basket. "You need some spice in your boring, bland life."

He keeps the eye contact long enough for it to be intimidating (or so he hopes), but not long enough for it to border on lustful as he thinks of something to say.

"And you need something actually healthy," he says, stepping back to grab a watermelon from his basket and place it in her cart. "There you go."

Devi quirks her eyebrow at him, face twisted up in something he can't quite decipher, before she moves to walk away.

"See you around. Hopefully not, though," she says, pushing her cart.

Ben manages to check out without seeing her again, which he considers a blessing in disguise. However, something about the way he left the store in a little higher spirits than he came makes him think he's either incredibly lame and needs to get out more or—well, he's not sure what the second option is, exactly.

-

Devi has a good feeling about her lawyer.

She sits in the lobby of the lawyer's office, waiting. She was well aware it was eight pm, but her shift had just ended, and she'd called Paxton earlier in the day and he'd agreed to stay later to meet with her. His voice over the phone was low and deep, and his words were comforting and kind. So yeah, so far, she has a good feeling about it.

"Dr. Vishwakumar?"

She glances up, and is, frankly, a little speechless. Paxton's wearing a grey suit, tailored to complement his body perfectly, and he looks _damn_ good in it. He stands confidently, almost pridefully, as if he's used to people looking at him. Everything about him is attractive, from his smile to his hair to his hand, which he's extending expectantly.

"Um, hi," she stumbles, reaching out to shake his hand. "It's Devi, please. Nice to meet you, Mr. Hall-Yoshida."

"Oh, no," he says, casually, flippantly. "Paxton."

She nods and follows him into his office, suddenly wishing she'd redone her mascara (again) before she'd walked in.

"So, I hear you got yourself in an accident," he begins, leaning back in his chair.

"Yeah. And not just that, but with the biggest dick ever."

Paxton laughs, the sound rich and full. "I have to admit, I was surprised when I saw Ben's name on the accident form. Went to law school with him for all three years. He's like, one of the safest drivers I know."

"So am I. But that doesn't give him the right to crash into me."

"I don't doubt it. Listen, Ben's hard to warm up to at first, but he's a good guy. He's also one of the biggest nerds I know though, which means he's a kick-ass lawyer."

"Ugh, great," she grumbles.

Paxton pauses to lean forward and place his hand on hers. "But, the good news is that you're _my_ client. I'm gonna fight for you. I'll take care of you, Devi."

Her head swims as she focuses in on his hand resting on hers, solid and warm. Something about it so mimics the way Ben had held hers, but still, somehow, it was very different. She nods at him, feeling a little hypnotized by his touch.

He smiles and nods back, and they spend the better part of an hour discussing the accident and going through her statement in addition to the police report. He proposes going back to the spot of the accident to get a better idea of what exactly happened, and Devi quickly agrees, although she has no idea when she'll find the time for it.

"It was really nice meeting you," he says, standing. "Let me walk you out."

She rises from her chair and walks through the door into the lobby. "Thanks so much for staying late."

"Of course," he responds. 

"I hope this all turns out okay," Devi confesses.

"It will," he assures her, reaching out to pat her shoulder.

She's not sure what compels her to believe him at the moment, but she does, just hoping that she could see him again soon, and that they could figure this out in the few short weeks they had.

-

It's unfortunate, really, the timing of Eleanor's birthday.

Devi meets Fab and Eve for lunch the week after she meets with Paxton to plan for El's 26th, which was the next Monday. She really didn't have time between being slammed during the week with long shifts and calling Paxton to figure out her case stuff to do it, but she told herself to buy some coffee and make it through lunch.

"God, Devi," Fab says, staring at her worriedly as she chugs her coffee. "You need to eat something healthy for once."

She ignores her and grabs the bag of cheeseburgers that Fab brought for them, fishing one out. "I do eat healthy."

"Your diet is coffee and Snickers bars," Eve says, already munching on her burger.

"Not like yours is much better," Devi says back playfully. "You eat basically the same stuff I do."

"Not _all_ of the same stuff," Eve responds, waggling her eyebrows at Fab, who blushes.

Devi gags in mock disgust as she tears open a packet of ketchup. "Moving right along. What are we gonna do about El's birthday?"

Fab sighs. "I dunno. She said she didn't want anything big."

"She always says things like that." Devi pauses to take a bite of her burger. "Remember the time she wanted something small for her 25th but then told us it was 'exactly what she'd hoped for' when we threw her an _In the Heights_ themed surprise party?"

"It took us two months to plan that," Fab groans. "We don't have that much time now. Her birthday is a week away."

"Not to go all I-told-you-so on you two," Eve chimes in. "But I mentioned a month ago we should start thinking about it."

"I know," Devi says. "I think I've just gotten so caught up in work that I forgot."

Internally, a part of Devi feels a tad crestfallen. _When had she gotten too busy to celebrate her best friend?_ She'd been so caught up in the hamster wheel of life, focusing on getting through medical school, getting a good match for residency, and now that she was finally working her way through her intern year, she had forgotten who'd been instrumental in helping her get through it all: Eleanor. From late-night frantic calls to girls' days to blacking out after tough exams, El had helped her hold it together. And she'd repaid her by what? _Forgetting about her birthday?_

"Okay, I've got it," she says enthusiastically. "Let's surprise her in the morning with breakfast and flowers. Eve and I can do that part on the way to our shift. Then, Fab can use her lunch break to visit her at work with balloons and chocolate, maybe boba. Maybe she can program a song or something to surprise her, I dunno. After work, we invite her out for drinks and get drunk enough that we agree to do renditions of _Chicago_ numbers with her."

"That works," Eve says. "But shouldn't Oliver be doing some of these things?"

Fab and Devi met each other's eyes over their soda cups, slightly debating whether to tell Eve or not.

With an imperceptible nod of the head from Devi, Fab turns to Eve.

"El told us a week ago that Oliver has been pretty absent the past few months," Fab begins. "I think she's worried that he's losing interest in their relationship."

"Well, this can be the perfect way for him to show her he cares," Eve says. "We should invite him to drinks, too."

Devi chews her lip for a little before she answers. "I think it could be a good idea."

Fab looks between the two of them before she sighs. "Okay, let's invite him. But all I'm saying is that the man better show up."

-

Ben's sitting in his office the next Monday, pen twirling in his fingers and his face scrunched up in concentration. He's working late, because he doesn't really have anyone expecting him to be home at a certain time. Plus, his new case is pretty interesting.

Additionally, going home means he has nothing better to do than pour himself a drink and stare at his TV, watching Bob's Burgers reruns and wondering why he was more anxious for his court date than any of the times he'd been in court in the past.

A knock on his door draws his attention upwards and he sees his receptionist, Shira, suddenly standing in front of him.

"Hey, Ben," she says. "You have a minute?"

"Of course, Shirs," he replies, setting down his pen. "What's going on?"

"Just a long day dealing with the most annoying old white men," she says, sinking down in a chair and slipping her heels off. "Speaking of, Stevens is a pain in the ass."

"Oh, I hate that guy. When he offered to drive you to his house to 'shred papers', I was about ready to run into him myself."

"With your car?" Shira pauses to prop her bare feet up on the other side of his desk. "I hear you've been doing a little of that, lately."

"You don't get to be mean to me _and_ put your sweaty, smelly feet on my desk. Pick one."

"I think not," she says back, eyes twinkling.

Ben rolls his eyes and pushes her feet off his desk as she giggles, like a teenager.

He'd met Shira in high school, and they'd even dated for a year, but broke up during senior year, each eventually resolving they weren't the best for each other. They'd gone to different colleges and hadn't really kept in contact, but then Ben had been more than surprised to find her interviewing to work at the same law firm he'd been practicing at for two years. He'd put it a good word for her, and she'd been hired soon after.

Over the last year, they'd formed a strong friendship, due to them both being some of the youngest employees at the firm and their shared history. Some days, Ben felt like she was the only one who helped him hold it together.

"So, who's the lucky woman?" she asks, stealing a piece of Ghiradhelli chocolate from the jar on his desk.

"Excuse me?" he asks, tracking her with his eyes to makes sure she doesn't take the sea salt and caramel ones.

"You know, the one who you crashed into with your Porsche?"

He hopes he sounds flippant as he says his next words. "I dunno. A doctor. She works at the hospital."

"As do most doctors. What else?"

"I don't know why you need a full biography. I met her _once_ ; I don't even remember that much about her."

"Touchy, touchy, touchy. Just answer one thing for me," she says, standing up to throw the wrapper away.

He glances at her a tad wearily as she walks back over to lean on the other side of the desk, gaze steady.

"Is she hot?"

Ben can feel the heat flood his face as she stares at him, but he doesn't look away. " _What?_ No! Why does that even matter?"

Shira searches him with her eyes as he struggles to keep his face blank, devoid of any emotion.

"Just because you might as well have something good to look at in court, you know, while you're doing your thing," she says casually, putting her heels back on. "You ready to go?"

"Where?"

"You know, out for drinks. Stevens invited the whole office after work. Most everyone already left for the bar. Did you forget?"

Ben groans, realizing he _had_ forgotten. "I don't want to."

"Well, I don't either, but we can sit in the corner and rate their suits on a scale of one to ten like we always do."

He sighs and picks up his jacket, slipping it on. "They're gonna think we're sleeping together if we keep showing up to company things to _only_ talk to each other."

She laughs as she holds the door open, waiting for him. "They already do, I'm sure."

"All we need to do to dispel that rumor is let Zoe come by the office one day. The way she looks at you isn't hiding anything."

Shira blushes a little as they walk down the hallway to the parking lot. "Believe me, I want her to. She's just always busy with work during the day."

"Ah. Maybe find some other way to get her here. Invite her to drinks or something."

"I will if you invite your hot doctor to drinks," she quips, walking away from him in search of her car.

"She's not _my_ doctor! Or hot!" Ben calls out adamantly to her retreating back.

-

Ben waits outside the bar until Shira arrives, not daring to go in without her. Normally, he was fine with talking to old, white lawyer types, but today he wasn't in the mood. And ever since Shira started working at the firm, he'd given up on trying to be friends with them altogether, instead sticking to her like gum on the bottom of a shoe.

In the long run, it didn't really matter if he was friends with his aging coworkers or not, because he was still one of the best lawyers at the firm, quickly on his way to becoming the best.

"I'm here," she says, and he glances up to see her standing there, expression already bored.

"Took you long enough," he says, shoving his hand in his pocket. "Come on, let's go."

They enter the crowded, low-lit bar and find seats quickly, close enough to their coworkers so they don't look suspicious, but far enough so that they don't have to engage in actual conversation with them. Ben shrugs off his blazer and places it on the back of his barstool as Shira takes a seat next to him.

"I'll get us drinks," he says to her, leaning into her so he can be heard over the roar of the bar.

"What do you want?"

"Whatever you're having," she says back, pulling out her phone. "I don't really care tonight."

He nods and walks over to the other side to get the attention of the barista. Ben orders his drinks and waits for them to be made, drumming his fingers against the bartop.

He's just running through the details of his upcoming case in his head when a soft body falls into his side and he's suddenly hit with a wave of vanilla and coconut. He turns to catch the person, one hand steadying her hip through a white tank top while the other grips her forearm loosely. Something about her scent sets off sensory receptors in his brain, a warning sign that this is familiar, but he just inhales the scent, relishing in its addictiveness.

As the woman grips his bicep to straighten herself up, Ben can tell from the ebony waves that this is exactly who he thought it'd be. He meets brown eyes, golden, and he feels a little lightheaded despite having no alcohol inside his body.

It's a little weird, he thinks, how he keeps running into her. The first time at the hospital he'd walked into himself, but then at the grocery store, and now, at the bar on a Monday. He kept seeing her, she kept appearing, wherever he was, she was. It was almost similar to the first time one learns a new word and then sees it everywhere for a little while, in books, in essays, in movies, until it disappears, just as quickly as it had come.

"Ben Gross," Devi addresses him a little breathily, lips alarmingly close to his.

She's taller today, and he vaguely registers that she's wearing heels, which makes her exactly the same height as him. It gives him the opportunity to feel her breath against his lips, soft and steady, and he hates that he hasn't moved away yet.

"Dr. Vishwakumar," he manages to say back, smirking.

She cringes, scrunching her nose up. "Ew. That's my mom."

"How about Doctor then?"

"You've called me just Devi in the past," she replies, and he swears her grip on his bicep tightens.

"If you keep arguing, I'm gonna go with David," he says, moving his thumb in the smallest circle he's ever drawn on the side of her stomach.

Her eyes darken the slightest bit, but she still doesn't pull away from him. "I thought you'd already decided on that."

"I like keeping my options open. Also, not to be that guy, but um, are you drunk?"

" _No_ ," she replies defiantly, before slumping in his arms. "Maybe a little. It's my best friend's birthday."

"Understandable," he says, trying to act like he's not drinking in the scent of her as much as she can. "It's her birthday, but _you_ get drunk."

"At least I'm here to have a good time. Who're you here with, your lawyer cronies?" she says, finally letting go of his arm to glance around him.

"Yeah." He lets go of her as well as the bartender sets down his order in front of him. "People from my firm. I'm just getting drinks for a friend and me right now."

Ben glances at Shira to see her watching their interaction, smirking, and he quickly drags his swipes his hand in front his neck in an I'll-kill-you gesture.

"I see," Devi says back, sounding the slightest bit dejected. "Well, see you in two weeks, Gross. Try to learn how to have some fun in the meantime. And quit following me."

He watches her walk back to the other side of the bar, staring for just a second at the way her tight skirt accentuates her body and makes her legs look _way_ too fucking long. Then, he shakes his head and grabs his drinks, walking back over to his seat.

He's met with a deviously smiling Shira.

"Was that her? Oh my god, that was _her_ , wasn't it?"

"Shut up," he says tightly, sitting down.

"She literally fell into you."

"Don't you dare mention it."

"As your best friend," she responds brightly, taking her drink from him. "I'm legally required to mention it."

"Fine," he groans, knowing how Shira can get with things like this. "Just make it quick."

She smiles widely and leans into him. "She's pretty hot, Ben. But, can I just say, it's so obvious you're into her. I mean, she was giving you attitude, and you were practically melting into goo. And _then_ , after she walked away, anyone with half an eye could tell you were staring at her ass, which"—

"Okay, shut up!" he grumbles, sinking into his seat. "I am immensely regretting this. I hate you so much."

"Not _my_ fault you wanna fuck your opposition."

"I don't want to fuck her," Ben says back, tightly, emphasizing the words. But he tilts his head back and downs half his drink, which doesn't do much to help his statement.

"Again, I don't blame you. She's sexy."

"Do I need to call Zoe? Because I will."

Shira laughs at the look on his face, but lets the subject drop, instead gesturing at one of their coworkers. "Thomas is a 2, easy. Like I'm convinced his pants and blazer aren't even the same shade of black."

Ben sighs, blinking at his coworker in question, trying to rid the scent of vanilla from his head.

-

The night was not going well.

Eleanor's birthday surprise had gone amazing up until now. Devi had left her a long voicemail when she was getting ready for her shift, wishing her a happy birthday and recounting their favorite high school and college memories. Then, Devi and Eve had stopped by at her house with breakfast at the crack of dawn, but El didn't even complain, just sleepily squealed and pulled them into a hug.

Fab had done her part, too. She might've even outdone herself, by showing up at El's work in the middle of the day with a box of her favorite chocolates and boba, plus 24 balloons, because she'd popped two of them on her way. She'd made up for it by programming her robot to sing all of El's favorite Broadway songs in a birthday montage, which had been taken very well by her fellow cast and crew, not to mention Eleanor, who had burst into tears. 

But it'd been over an hour since they'd been at the bar now, and even though El had been nothing but a ray of sunshine all day, the other three could see her slowly growing more distraught as the moments passed. Oliver was nowhere to be seen, and despite Devi, Fab, and Eve's best attempts to distract her from that fact, El kept checking the door every minute nervously.

Devi, resolving it was time for shots, stands up to get drinks for them.

Just as she's walking backward, waving at Eve that she's fine, she runs into something solid and trips, all but falling into someone's chest.

The first thing Devi feels is a hand come up to grab the side of her stomach, thumb digging into her with pressure. The smell of cinnamon crowds her senses and she almost closes her eyes to breathe it in when she feels a hand grab her forearm, circling her wrist.

She grips the person's bicep as she stares at their—his—chest, the first three buttons unbuttoned, and a flash of silver surrounding his neck. That's when she realizes who this is, but the realization doesn't hit her as hard as it should. She's instead focused on why he hasn't moved away, and neither has she, and why his touch feels like it's branding heat into the skin of her hip.

So, she stumbles over a conversation with Ben about relatively nothing, before he gestures behind him to a pretty blonde woman, and she lets go of him.

Something about the woman sits weird with her, and she can't stop thinking about it as she orders the alcohol. She was gorgeous, no doubt about it, with what Devi knows anyone would consider a perfect body. Her outfit, a short skirt and business-y top, was professional, but still managed to compliment her figure. More so than all of this, it was evident she and Ben were sitting apart from their other coworkers, in a secluded little duo.

For some reason, it makes something in the depths of her gut twist, almost painfully.

But as she walks back to the table, El's sad face creates an explosion of guilt in her heart, and she tables her own feelings for a second.

"I have vodka shots," she attempts to sing-song as she sets them down on their small table.

Eve and Fab smile at her, albeit weakly, but El all but moans.

"I can't believe this is happening right now," she mumbles, digging her head into her hands. "I'm trying to be happy, I really am, and you guys are _more_ than enough. It's just—the idea of someone not showing up when you want them to, well, it hurts in a whole different way."

Devi sits down next to El and places an arm around her shoulders. El was talking about her mom, that much was clear, but she didn't deserve this. No one deserved this, especially not on their birthday.

"He'll show up, El," Fab says softly.

"Yeah, just give him some more time," Eve says, reaching a hand out to pat her hand.

Devi doesn't feel entirely convinced of this fact, so she switches the subject. "How about we take some shots and sing _Chicago_ loud enough to make everyone in the bar shoot us death glares?"

El looks up from her arms and chuckles. "I like that idea."

"Okay, ladies, let's do it."

They take a round of shots, and then another, sipping on their mixed drinks while they wait for their third round.

"Which song do you wanna do first, El?" Devi asks.

" _All that Jazz_ ," she says, a little more confidently. "I can do a solo performance."

Eve groans in the background but Devi shoots her a look before turning back to El. "Okay, let's hear it."

El jumps down from their booth and stands in front of them on the wood of the bar, clearing her throat.

"C'mon babe, why don't we paint the town?" she sings, softly but strongly. "And all that jazz."

A few of their neighbors glance at them while she continues the song, but the bar is loud enough for her voice to blend into background music as time goes on. For those who keep shooting her dirty looks, one glare from Devi is enough for them to look back at their friends, letting Eleanor do her thing. As soon as the song ends, Fab and Eve cheer loudly, clapping, while Devi hugs El tightly.

"That _did_ make me feel a little better," El says, downing the vodka that Devi offers her.

"Good. You were amazing, as always," Devi says back, smiling at her.

"Thanks, Devi." She pauses as a flicker of resolve crosses her face. "He's not coming, though, is he?"

The other three nervously glance at each other for a quarter of a second, seemingly making the silent unanimous decision to cut out the bullshit support and be honest with their friend.

"I don't think so, El," Fab says, softly.

"We're so sorry," Eve adds in, her tone soothing.

"It's okay," El responds shakily, grabbing both of their hands. "I'm just happy you guys are here with me."

Devi stares at her, happiness so fakely plastered on her face, and something within her hardens. Her friend, although a brilliant actress, didn't deserve to act on her birthday, to hide behind a wall.

"You know what," Devi chimes in. " _Fuck that_. Call him and break up with him."

Ignoring Eve and Fab's wide eyes, she continues. "If this was important enough to him, if _you_ were important enough to him, he would've made it. You don't deserve someone who's not gonna show up, El. Call him."

Eleanor looks utterly terrified at this idea, eyes wide and afraid. "I—I think I need some air."

Then, she grabs her purse and phone, and runs out the door.

"Devi, _what the hell_?" Fab hisses at her. "What are you doing?"

"She'll be okay," she insists, voice stronger than she feels. "She just needed a break from all of this, I think."

"You're supposed to tell her to make relationships work," Fab says back. "Not to let go of them."

"Oh, come on. You can't be serious. If he wants to be with her, he would've been here. Or at least called to give a damn good reason for not coming."

"She's been with Oliver for three years! He works with her, for God's sake. You can't tell her to end something like that because he doesn't show up once."

"He hasn't been showing up for months, Fab!" Devi replies, angrily. "She deserves someone who will be there for her, understand her, and support her, no matter what."

As soon as she gets out the words, she freezes. Although they're pretty basic qualifications, nothing too special, she feels like she's talking more about her own heart than El's. Her own heart, specifically, which hadn't been in a serious relationship in almost a year.

Eve clears her throat, glancing surreptitiously at the door and then back at them.

"I think," she begins, placatingly. "You two need to stop fighting and pull it together. Because she's coming back and she needs us right now, no matter what happened out there."

Devi glares at Fab half-heartedly, but quiets for the moment as El slides back into her seat, looking ambivalent. The other three turn to her expectantly as she takes a sip of her drink before speaking.

"Well, I did it," she says nervously, eyes looking a tad watery. "I broke up with him."

Eve reaches forward and grabs her hand. "Are you okay?"

El pauses for a few seconds before nodding. "Oddly enough, I—I think I am. I guess I just saw it coming for a while, you know? I was just holding onto some hope, a hope I needed to let go of."

The table nods back at her while she looks around at all of them, face brightening a little. "But I don't want to think about that, right now. I want to dance with you guys. So, come on."

Devi finishes her drink and lets El pull her onto the crowded dance floor, finding a spot in the corner for the four of them. As she watches Eve and Fab lean into each other, she starts to smile. She pulls El in and twirls her around playfully, both laughing as they trip and almost fall.

As they spend a little longer on the dance floor, challenging each other to mini dance battles and copying each other's moves, Devi swears she can feel the ghost of blue eyes on her, a heavy touch on her hips, but her heart, at least for the moment, feels full.

-

Devi's not sure when she decides she wants something permanent, something stable, but it happens somewhere deep within her, and all of a sudden she can't entertain anything else.

Returning to the accident site in midday, a time that is usually regarded as comforting and safe, makes Devi feel unsettled. She wasn't sure if it was the rush of emotions that came with the place, or the fact that it was the beginning of everything, the culmination, but she wasn't really feeling like lying.

"Hey, Devi," Paxton greets her, stepping out of his car.

"Hi," she says back, biting her lip a tad nervously.

She'd been in communication with Paxton the past few weeks, through texts and phone calls when she wasn't working, but this was the first time they'd met in person since she'd first met him. It was her fault, really, because he'd been insisting on meeting with her for something or the other, but her schedule wasn't allowing for it.

Her schedule _was_ allowing, however, for her to run into Ben more times than felt natural. It had to be karma, really, for a thing she'd done in her past life, like cheated on a person or something.

"It's so great to see you again," he says, subtly running his eyes down her body.

Devi had changed into jeans and a tank top from her scrubs, even though she had to go back to the hospital after this, in an attempt to look nice. She wasn't feeling as happy as she expected to feel to see Paxton, though.

"Great to see you, too," she says, smiling. "Where do you want to start?"

"Right. So we need to map out where exactly the crash happened, where your car was and his car was, and what speeds you were traveling at. I know I have a lot of the information from our phone calls, but this will give us a chance to bring the crash fresh into your mind, with our court date coming up in under a week."

She swallows and nods. "Okay."

They work quickly, each pressed for time, but Devi doesn't miss the steady touches on the small of her back to guide her closer to the center of the road, or the heavy grip on her arm to alert her that a car was arriving. While they were bordering on the line of the professional relationship they shared, that wasn't the thing that Devi was scared of. What she was scared of was something deeper, and it was confusing.

"Okay, I'm starving," Paxton says. "I think we're good to wrap up here unless there's anything else you remember."

"I've wracked my brain," she says, shaking her head.

Paxton pauses a little, as if he's nervous to say his next words. "Would you want to get lunch together? You know, just me and you? I'd love to, like, take a step away from all this and just talk to you."

Devi stares back at him, unable to render why her heart wasn't jumping more at this declaration. As she thinks of the times they've talked in the past, she realizes that the initial dazed feeling she'd felt around him when she'd first met him had subsided. Devi had slowly started seeing him as more as a person and less of an unattainable, forbidden crush. It'd been less than five minutes since he'd last touched her, but she can't remember how his hands felt, the amount of pressure he used.

It's not like something about him is _wrong_ , because he's exactly right. On paper, he's all she could ever want. Attractive, kind, confident. But she didn't feel butterflies when he touched her, or argued with her, she didn't feel drawn to him, and she wanted that, wanted it more than anything in her life right now.

She was the tide, and he was the sand, always there, reliable and soft, but _still_ not quite the moon.

"I would love to," she answers, clearing her throat. "But maybe another day. I have to get back to the hospital, I'm sorry."

He looks a little crestfallen as he shoves his hands in his pockets. "You can just tell me if you're not into me, you know. You don't have to make up excuses."

"I'm not making up excuses. I think you're a great person, I really do. But you're also my attorney, and I'm kinda in a stage in my life where I'd love to have you in it, but as a friend."

She watches him think it through for a few seconds, wondering if it's too late to take back what she just said.

But then, Paxton looks up at her and smiles. "Okay. That works for me."

Devi waves to him as she gets into her Lyft and makes it back to the hospital, wondering what had transpired in just under an hour's time.

-

She manages to make it through the rest of the week without regretting her decision, which she resolves is a good thing. Paxton was a great person, and she could genuinely see herself becoming friends with him, but nothing more than that as of right now. Maybe she can introduce him to El.

No matter how well he convinced her they were prepared for the case, however, Devi's anxiety does nothing but increase as the trial draws closer and closer. She finds herself a day before the court date, feeling absolutely unprepared and lost, something she'd never felt in the past.

She knew she wasn't _supposed_ to prepare, not really, because Paxton would be doing the talking for her. But ever since the initial accident, she had resolved to spend all of her free time looking up car accident cases and their verdicts just so she could expect the worst and hope for the best or whatnot. It hadn't worked out with her busy schedule, but as she neared the end of her shift and her anxiety was only getting worse, she decided to try her last resort.

-

Ben is sitting in his desk, feet propped up, brows furrowed as he examines his newest case of the week. Normally, he'd never put his feet on his desk, too worried about marring the wood, but today, he couldn't bring himself to care enough. Maybe that's also why his jacket was thrown on the back of his chair, his tie was loose, and a good portion of his shirt's buttons was unbuttoned.

Relatively speaking, he was getting close to being a mess.

Theoretically, he should go home, get some sleep, and prepare for his court date the next day. However, he can't help but try to delay the inevitable tomorrow by staying at work as long as possible. He rationalizes, always rationalizes, by telling himself he's going to become the best lawyers in the firm the harder and longer he works.

Everyone else in the firm has filed out a long time back, including Shira, so there's _really_ no reason for him to continue to stay, but he runs his hand through his hair frustratedly and keeps reading his case details. He's so focused on the paper in front of him that he barely notices the movement outside his door, but the click of it opening is distinctive.

"I—I can't do this."

Ben jerks his head up to see Devi standing in front of him, chest heaving. She's still in her scrubs-she's _always_ in her scrubs-and even though he should be tired of the sight of her, something about her is different today. Her face is almost wrecked, and she looks like she's on the verge of tears. While Ben's not a bad person per se, he wasn't necessarily her friend either, so he tries his best to channel his most halfway disinterested but also halfway interested vibe.

"You can't do what?" he says, raising an eyebrow coolly.

"This. This court date. It's too—too soon. Can we move it? And how?"

He swings his feet off his desk and stands, walking around the table to lean on the opposite side of it, just a foot away from her.

"We could. You can go to court tomorrow and ask for an extension. Or you can simply try asking the courts to reschedule, but the rescheduling will generally have to be approved by the opposing counsel, which would be me, and the judge. However, if you have a reasonable excuse, it could be rescheduled. However, this is up to my discretion, and that of the judge's."

He hates himself for it as soon as he says it, because he knows he needs to be kinder, but he still hasn't gotten used to her looking at him so openly despairingly. He's worried it's going to make something within him fall, the walls breaking down.

"Oh. Ok."

"But you know, that's just longer that you're waiting for a verdict, and that can be pretty disadvantageous when your main form of transportation is on the line. It also wouldn't be the most beneficial thing for _me_ , financially speaking, of course."

She stares at him for a second before scoffing and shaking her head. "I can't believe I actually came here. You're such an asshole."

The second she says the words, he feels something lodge itself in his throat. Truthfully, being mean to her was bothering him a lot more than just being civil, and decides to, just this once, be nice.

"Ok, ok, wait," he stumbles, reaching a hand out to grab her forearm. "I'm sorry. I—I just, I've had a pretty terrible day."

Devi pauses to glance at his fingers on her arm, and he's just about to take them back, before she turns back towards him. She throws her bag in her armchair and moving to stand in front of him, the back of her knees just grazing the chair's leg.

"Me too. Or more so of a week, if I'm being honest."

He nods and grabs the glass jar of Ghiradhelli chocolate next to him, digging out a sea salt and caramel one.

"Here. They're my favorite and I hate sharing, so consider yourself lucky."

She doesn't fight him, just takes the chocolate and unwraps it. He crosses his arms across his chest and watches her take a bite of it, eyes drifting closed in the process. Suddenly, it's like he's been given a moment, where he can watch her, examine her, with no consequences. His eyes roam her face, stopping on her eyelashes, long and full, her nose, and her lips. Her expression is one of peace, tranquility, and he finds some of the tension in his body leech out of him as she relaxes a little.

Then, her eyes open, and he looks down, pretending to be overly interested in his ticks on his watch. Out of the corner of her eye, he sees her shove the wrapper in the pocket of her scrubs and step forward, and deeming it relatively safe to look up, he does so.

There's caramel on her lips.

It's just a little smidge, nothing really, but the second he sees it, he can't stop staring at her mouth. She's close enough to him that he can see the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, but he's overly tempted to get closer, even closer to her.

Instead, he forces one of his hands up and slowly, gently, grazes his thumb across her bottom lip, removing the caramel. Her lips are soft and full, and he feels himself tremble slightly as he touches her, but all he can think of now is the movies where he's seen this happen. He wonders if this will end how it's always portrayed to end.

He makes sure to not make eye contact with her as he pauses with the caramel on his hand, and a thought overcomes him so suddenly that he stops breathing.

He kinda wants to lick it off his finger, suck his thumb and taste her mixed with caramel, one taste he knows everything about, and one he thinks he might want to figure out.

Before he can do something he'll probably regret, however, Devi clears her throat and he jumps, moving to wipe his thumb against her scrubs quickly.

"Sorry," he stumbles out, still looking down. "You had—but I shouldn't have—without asking you—yeah."

"It's alright," she says back, softly. "The chocolate helped, I think."

Ben musters the courage to look up at her then, and she's smiling at him slightly. He realizes with a start this is one of the first times—if not the first time—she's smiled at him, and it makes her face look softer, warmer.

"It always does," he says instead, clearing his throat. "So, what, um, happened?"

"I just feel—feel unprepared for tomorrow."

"It's not a test, Devi. Or a competition. Plus, your lawyer is supposed to be the one who should be worried, not you."

"I'm well aware. I meant like, prepare myself to be in court and all. I mean, I've seen Law and Order SVU. But it's kinda scary when you're the one in trouble, even though it's only the slightest bit."

He softens a little internally. "I get that. I've been in a courtroom hundreds of times, but this still feels different, in a way."

"Yeah," she says back, crossing her arms across her chest. "It does."

"So, you weren't exactly the troublemaker in school, were you?"

"Why do you think that?"

"For one, you're scared to go to court for an accident case."

"Ok, well, by that logic, you must've been the teacher's pet of teacher's pets."

He laughs a little despite himself. "You're not entirely wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

"I'm sure you aren't. I don't particularly make a habit out of it myself."

The corner of her mouth quirks up, but her words are laden with an undertone of sincerity. "Is that what you're doing right now? Staying late to make sure you got everything right?"

He stares at her, barely inches away from her, and suddenly he feels like he can't hide anything, not while being this close to her.

"Not really. More so, just avoiding everything that's wrong."

Her face morphs into one of understanding, pity nowhere to be found. "I get that. It sucks ass being an adult, sometimes."

Ben chuckles, cocking his head at her. "I have a proposition."

A pause.

"If this is going where I think it is, I just want to say I will not hesitate to stab you in the neck with one of your $200 pens."

"It's not. But you really need to watch the death threats."

"And you need to work on phrasing things better."

He groans, tipping his head forward and taking a deep breath. His hair brushes her arm and he sees her visibly tense at the touch, light as it is.

"Okay," he begins hesitantly, picking his head back up. "How about we stop looking at tomorrow like it's a competition, like a win-lose situation, and just……be civil about it? Like, two friends who are playing a game?"

"You want us to be friends?"

He shrugs casually. "I think it'd help you not freak out as much about tomorrow if we were."

Devi looks impassive as she searches his face for a few seconds, so he stumbles over himself to keep going.

"And you know, we keep running into each other. I mean, I've seen you three times in the past three weeks. That's pretty remarkable, considering we both have relatively demanding professions. So, _all_ I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt for us to form a partnership of sorts, just to, you know, make things less awkward."

"Aw, Ben," she says, cocking her head at him mockingly. "You've been keeping track of how many times you run into me?"

He feels his face heat up against his will as he bites his lip. "Yeah, I mean, they've been relatively memorable."

She looks a tad taken aback, and he doesn't blame her, but her eyes darken a little, not unlike the time when he grabbed her waist in the middle of the bar. He stares into them, wanting to feel a little of that night over again.

"You know, this is the second time this week I've agreed to be friends with someone."

"So now you have two friends?"

"Ha, ha. One more than you, at least."

It hits Ben now that they haven't moved an inch this whole time, despite being a lot closer than necessary for this type of conversation. He's not quite sure what this means, but what he does know is that it doesn't feel unnatural to be close with her.

He rolls his eyes at her and sighs. "Whatever you say, David. Now get out of my office. I need to go home and get my precious eight hours."

She smirks and grabs her bag, turning around to walk towards the door. "You can proclaim we're friends all you want, Ben, but tomorrow is still a competition. And I _will_ win."

Ben watches her grin deviously at him before she leaves, barely a flash of black hair in the room.

He looks upward at the ceiling and groans, feeling screwed in more ways than one.

-

The court date could have gone better, but it could've also gone a lot worse.

The day of, Ben wakes up hours earlier than necessary, nervous energy building up inside him. He tries going for a run, but he only makes it a few miles before he goes back to his apartment, too afraid he's running the risk of being late. Instead, he showers, keeping a careful watch on the time, and gets dressed as meticulously as possible.

Then, he drives to his favorite coffee shop and orders a chai latte, hoping the warmth will calm his nerves. He sips it as he rifles through his binder and texts his attorney for the third time of the morning, confirming his presence.

When he climbs into his car to drive to the court, he tries to breathe and lets his head fall against the steering wheel, only jerking it back up when the horn honks loudly.

Briefly, he wonders how Devi's doing.

Ben arrives at the courtroom early, but he spots Shira and Zoe already sitting on the steps, murmuring to each other.

"Hey guys," he says, going up to them. "Thank you for coming. You two look nice."

Zoe smiles at him. "Thanks, Ben. I'll use any excuse to dress up I can."

"She's kidding," Shira chimes in, slightly shoving her girlfriend. "She's here for you."

"Well, whatever the reason, I appreciate it."

"You nervous?" Shira asks, eyes scanning him up and down.

"I'm good, don't worry," he says, waving his hand at her. "Let's go wait inside, yeah?"

They enter the building and Ben spots his attorney, who pulls him aside for a second to review the case. The man keeps rambling even as they enter the courtroom, and Ben, who was initially thankful for the distraction, suddenly feels the anxiety return tenfold as he recognizes the mahogany wood of the tables and chairs. As he glances at Devi, though, he realizes with a shock who's standing next to her.

"Gimme one second," he says to his attorney, not bothering to wait for a response before he crosses the room to stand in front of the opposition.

"Paxton?" Ben asks, still staring in disbelief.

Paxton looks up from where he's mumbling to Devi and stands, surprise crossing his face.

"Ben! So good to see you, man. Been a while," he says, reaching forward to shake his hand.

"It has been," Ben agrees. "We should grab a drink soon."

"For sure, dude, for sure. If you weren't always working, we'd be able to do something."

Ben smiles at him before turning to Devi, remembering why he'd come over here.

"You took my recommendation?"

Paxton seems to realize this is between them as he picks up his binder and steps back to talk to one of Devi's friends.

She stares back at him a little quizzically, before she stands, sighing heavily. He realizes she's wearing a matching blazer and skirt, her button-down dark red. It makes her face look warmer, and he thinks about how it's a tad unfair that she looks this put together in court, almost more than him.

"I did," she replies, albeit a little tightly. "It's not that deep, Gross."

"You trust my opinion."

She scoffs casually, but the panic in her eyes tells him the truth. "I didn't have time to look for someone else. Plus, Paxton is a good attorney."

"He is. But the only way you know that is because you took a chance on him. And that's because of me."

"Pull your head out of your ass, Gross. Not everything's about you. _This_ isn't about you."

"Mhmmm," he says, smirking, feeling some of his anxiety webb away. "I'll see you after, Devi."

The hours pass quickly even though Ben can't stop slightly shaking in his seat the entire time. Even though he feels calmer after sparring with Devi, his body seemingly isn't agreeing with his brain. As a result, he does relatively no talking except for responding to the judge's questions and whispering to his attorney.

He does, however, watch Devi as she describes the extent to which the accident occurred, and lists off the symptoms of his panic attack confidently and succinctly. She looks at ease, and he asks himself if arguing with him calmed her down as much as it did him.

Eventually, the jury comes back with a verdict, and Ben holds his breath while the judge announces it.

_Devi wins the case._

The statement initially hits him like a truck, and he refuses to look at anyone as he pushes his way out of the room and into the men's bathroom. He leans against the sink, focusing on breathing, in and out. Realizing he's not doing any good for himself quickly, he closes his eyes and pushes open the door when he hears multiple frantic knocks.

As soon as he emerges from the bathroom, Shira is there, fiddling with the hem of her dress.

"Ok, come here," she says, pulling him into a corner. "What happened? You were in there for like, thirty minutes. "

"I don't know," he mutters back, sinking into a chair. "I don't know."

"You didn't do anything wrong. This was your attorney's fault, not yours."

Zoe shows up then, holding a bottle of water. "What's wrong with you, Gross?"

"I _don't_ know," he bites out.

She looks at him, head in his hands, and squats down in her heels, bare knees pressing against the tile.

"Look at me. Look _at_ me," Zoe says, staring him straight in the eyes. "Pull yourself together. Right now. It's just an accident case, and you weren't even representing yourself. Shira's told me you hate losing, and I get that, but this is just pathetic."

"I have to pay her," he says shakily, accepting the water from her.

"Which you will do, without whining about it. It's what, like $2500? You can pay that, easy. Now, she's walking over here, and she looks like she just won a fucking Emmy or something, so stop whatever pitiful breakdown you're having and turn on some attitude."

Ben stares at her for a few seconds, processing her words, before nodding and standing up. He extends his hand, and Zoe takes it, using it to help herself up daintily.

"Told you she was here for you," Shira mutters to him, smirking, and he lets himself break into a half-smile.

"Hey, Gross."

He turns, and there she is, surrounded by her friends, grinning like the Joker.

"David," he replies, shoving his hands in his pockets casually.

"Run me my money."

"I will. If you ask nicer."

"I don't do nice."

"Well, at least try it in words I can understand. You know, big words."

"Ok, fine," she begins, eyes dancing with challenge. "We decided on a settlement amount of $2512.39 before we went to trial, to be paid within fifteen days of today. As the collecting party, if the settlement is not paid within that time, I hold the right to add interest to the unpaid amount. Now, if this were a judgement, the court might allow you to file a motion for a new trial or appeal the court's ruling."

She pauses to step closer to him now, way more in his personal space than she should be. He tries to ignore how hearing these words coming from her mouth is stirring something in the pit of his stomach.

"However, it is not a judgement, I repeat, because you will _not_ do either of those two things, do you hear me? I want my money, and I want it soon. I'm not in the mood to go through any form of garnishment, even though I'd honestly love to steal from your lawyer salary."

"You can stop with the legal jargon," he quips, raising an eyebrow. "This whole speech feels like you memorized and spit back up an LSAT prep book."

Before she can say anything, Shira beats her to it, elbowing him in the side subtly.

"Ok, _well_ , I think we're pretty hungry so we might go wait outside for Ben to, uh, finish this up. I'm Shira by the way, I remember seeing you at the bar," she says, extending a hand towards Devi. "This is my girlfriend, Zoe."

Something in Devi's eyes clears as she smiles widely and shakes their hands, introducing herself.

"We're gonna wait outside, too," Eve pipes up from behind her, holding hands with a woman Ben's never seen before.

"I'm Fabiola, Eve's wife," she says, reaching forward to shake Ben's hand, despite Devi's pointed glare.

"Great to meet you," he replies, smiling.

The four women leave, chatting between themselves, and then it's just Devi staring at Ben with an aloof look on her face.

"What?" he says, smirking at her. "You don't like my friends becoming friends with your friends?"

"They're not going to become friends."

"I think they are."

"Wanna bet on it?"

"Sure. But we need to draw up a contract beforehand to make sure you don't cheat."

She smirks at him, before glancing behind her, to where Paxton's smiling with a dark-haired woman.

"You guys wanna, um, grab lunch with us? I'm just waiting for my friend, Eleanor, to, uh…"

"Finish flirting with your attorney?"

"Leave her alone. She just got out of a three-year relationship."

"I'm not judging. I faintly recall a time when you were fawning over Paxton, too."

For some reason, Devi blushes and averts her eyes. "Yeah, anyways, when she's done, you could come to lunch with all of us. I can pay, you know, since you'll be giving me _thousands_ of dollars sooner than later."

"Then, isn't it just like me paying? So why don't I just pay?"

"Just come, Gross. It's not like you have anything better to do."

He smiles for the first time all day, having missed her prickly tone just a little. "Ok, if you insist."

-

They became friends after that, as in honest, close friends, and they'd both be lying if they said it wasn't the best decision of their lives.

It starts slowly, with Devi casually calling him to ask details about the settlement, ignoring the fact that there was absolutely no need for further contact between them. Then it builds up, and slowly, but surely, the next few months pass, and they make time for each other. Which is something neither of them is the absolute best at.

Now, it's Eve and Ben sitting with Devi at lunch, eating at the hospital cafeteria, and quizzing her on vocab in between bites of her food. It's Shira and Devi laughing in the chairs in Ben's office, eating his chocolate, and bothering him while he pretends to be busy with his cases. It's Paxton inviting El out for drinks, and El panicking and making Devi come with her, who grumbles and invites Ben, effectively creating a double date scenario which neither Ben more Devi wants to admit they're in.

It's also them sharing their stories with one another, parts of themselves they've kept locked away for a while, secured in a vault in the depths of their hearts. He tells her about his parents, his anxiety, his loneliness, while she shares her fond memories of her dad, her fear of failure, her turbulent emotions.

It's the calm before the rumble of a thunderstorm, and each minute that they spend with each other, the clouds grow darker and more ominous, signaling the rain growing closer and closer, but not falling, not quite yet.

They both internally wonder what will happen it does.

-

It's not like they don't have moments. They do.

Devi's favorite might be the day Ben shows up to the hospital, hair messy and shirt untucked, carrying two iced chai lattes in his hand.

"Here you go," he says, pressing one of the coffees into her hand. "What was so important that you made me drive here instead of home to my soft, comfortable bed?"

Devi can barely contain her emotions, veins thrumming with excitement, but she takes the coffee from him, ignoring the way she feels energized just by seeing him.

"Ok, shut up already. I have a surprise," she says, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the elevator. "Come with me."

He grumbles, but doesn't protest as she drags him into the elevator and presses the button for the 7th floor way more times than necessary.

"Also, you need to look nice, so you know, fix yourself. These people are very important, so you need to look presentable for them."

A look of confused panic crosses his face as he reaches up to pat his head. "Who are you taking me to see? Are these some hot-shot doctors? I'm not volunteering for any clinical study. I've read that they can steal"—

"You're making it worse. Lemme do it," she says, dodging his question.

Internally, she knows something within her just wants to touch him, to feel him under her fingertips. She can hold hundreds of patients' hands, hug families all day long, but Ben's touch is different. It's enticing, exciting, and comforting all at once.

So, Devi reaches up to thread her hands through his brown locks, reveling in the softness of his hair. She pushes some to the back, patting it down a little, but not too much. Once she's done, she lets her hand drop, and that's when she looks at his eyes.

His eyes are the most expressive part of his face, molten blue, but this time they're softer, almost a sky blue. He's smiling just the slightest bit, and she leans forward just as the elevator comes to a stop and chimes loudly.

They step away from each other, and she darts out of the elevator, face flushed. He follows her to the corner, and she turns right, then left, and suddenly they're standing in front of the hospital nursery.

"Babies?" he asks bluntly, glancing at her. "You made me fix my hair to see _babies_?"

"Shhhh," she says, even though there's glass to soundproof the room. "They're important people."

"They can't even see me!" he whispers back adamantly. "They're literally sleeping."

"Not all of them. Not that one."

He follows her gaze to a baby girl, lying on a pink blanket, brown eyes darting around the room curiously. Devi watches Ben stare at the baby, eyes suddenly wide and soft. He steps closer to the glass, peering at her, and a slow smile lights up his face. She can't focus on the babies, not anymore, not now, when he's smiling like that, as if he just climbed a mountain and is admiring the view from the top.

"She's beautiful," he breathes.

"Yeah, she is," Devi responds, looking back at the baby. "I helped deliver her earlier today."

He turns to her quickly, eyes darting all over her face in awe. "You did?"

"Yeah. Her mom needed an emergency C-section, and I was on her case, so I helped."

"Why was it an emergency?"

"Guess."

He scoffs, staring at her confused. "Why you're asking me? Aren't you supposed to know?"

"I know you know things, Gross. Guess."

"I guess, it could be, um, fetal distress. Or a prolapsed umbilical cord, maternal hemorrhage, or uterine rupture."

Devi smiles as he rattles off the correct possibilities, internally impressed at his knowledge. Ben was always surprising her, quoting books and essays, even research papers, from any and every topic imaginable. He was intelligent, one of the smartest people she knew, and she sometimes felt like he could talk to her about anything in the world for hours.

"You ever think it's weird how we all start in the same place?" he asks softly, starting her out of her reprieve. "In a hospital room?"

"Not really. But I think the way we change as we grow up is interesting. These babies, their parents will take them home soon, and each parent will raise them differently. Some will be there for them the whole way, from the second they start walking to the time they start driving, and others, well, they won't."

"Parents suck sometimes."

"They do. But in a way, we also can't really blame them. They raise us the only way they know how."

"I don't know about my parents, but I'm gonna be there for my kids, through it all," he says softly, earnestly.

She feels his gaze on her, but she continues staring at the babies, not daring to meet his eyes.

"I come here a lot. There are new babies here every day, and it's one of the only parts of the hospital that looks different as the days pass. I guess it reminds me that things do change."

"They do, and it's the best part of life."

Devi glances at him then, and he's smiling at her, not his top of the mountain smile, but a softer one, a fonder one.

It's when she realizes that her life is vastly different from a few months ago, and the only thing that changed was him.

-

It feels like everyone in her life is moving forward, moving ahead, walking along the path they call life, and she's stuck running in a circle.

"Fuck, Ben," she mutters. "Your elbow is digging into my ribs."

"Ok, I'm sorry," he says back. "But Fab is pushing me."

"I am not!" Fab insists, from his other side. "Stop making shit up, Gross."

"Shhhhh, you guys, she'll be here any minute," Zoe says, trembling a little. "You guys are stressing me out."

They're all in Ben's apartment, hiding behind his kitchen island, waiting for Shira to come by. Zoe was planning on proposing to her today, but since Shira had mentioned she something small, Ben had invited her to his place under the guise of dinner. Paxton and El were there too, cameras out and ready from different angles, and they'd been crouching in the darkness for over ten minutes with Zoe worriedly pacing in the other room.

A knock sets off sparks in Devi's stomach, and then the door opens and the room is flooded with light.

"Hello?" Shira asks tentatively.

Fab jumps up, walking over to hand her a bouquet of flowers. She's asking her what's going on, more so demanding, but then Eve comes out, strumming her guitar to the beginning notes of a soft love song. Devi and Ben move to stand behind next to her, quietly singing the first few lyrics.

"Okay, you guys need to tell me what's going on," she says, stronger this time, but Devi is too focused on the sound of Ben's voice in her ear, deep and steady.

Then, Zoe emerges from the other room, and walks up to Shira. As she gets down on one knee, Devi and Ben sing even quieter, lower, so the couple can hear each other.

"Shira Grace Aarons," Zoe begins.

"Zoe, oh my god," she says, her eyes already wet.

"Shira. Our love hasn't been simple. In fact, from the beginning, it's been difficult. We've dealt with a lot of shit, not only from our family, but people we thought were our friends. But at the end of the day, I'm fine with it all if I have you. It's you who I want to come home to, you who I want to raise kids with, you who I want."

El's already crying more than Shira, which almost makes Devi chuckle for a second, but then Zoe keeps going.

"You know me. You know me at my worst and at my best. You deal with me, regardless of my mood during the day. Shira, you're always patient with me, and always loving. I gave you my heart a while back, and now I'm asking you to hold it, to be patient with it, to love it. I'm asking you to love me, for the rest of my life."

Devi and Ben slowly fade out, which she is thankful for because she suddenly can't see, tears blinding her vision. Eve strums the last few notes of the song and the room is quiet, everyone collectively holding their breath.

"Will you marry me and make me the happiest woman ever?"

Shira nods and pulls Zoe up, and everyone cheers happily. Teary hugs and kisses go around, and soon after, everyone sits down around the table to eat dinner, courtesy of Ben.

Devi watches him throughout dinner, sneaking small glances at him when no one's looking. She watches the way he laughs when Eve says something or the way he smiles as he watches Shira and Zoe lean into each other. When he smiles, it's plain sunshine, enough to light up the whole room, and she can't help but feel a little drawn to it.

After they finish dinner, he gets up to go get the dessert, and Devi excuses herself to follow him, ignoring El's knowing glance.

"Need any help?" she asks, entering the kitchen.

He looks up and smiles. "Sure. I made brown sugar pavlova with caramelized peaches. You can just drizzle this caramel on top while I grab plates."

She takes the spoon from him and begins drizzling, trying to stay as even as possible. "This is surprisingly fancy, Gross. Why'd you do all this by yourself?"

"Because, if I asked for help, there's more potential for others to mess it up."

"Is that the actual reason?"

He sighs and sets the plates down next to her, elbow brushing hers. "It's just, Shira is—is really important to me. I wanted to do this for her and Zoe. They've done a lot for me."

She nods as she finishes with the caramel and sets the spoon down. "They're really happy today."

"They are. They deserve it."

"Why do people say that?"

"Uh, excuse me?"

"Why do people say others deserve happiness? Doesn't everyone deserve it?"

He pauses from cutting the pavlova to glance at her. "Um, well, they've b—been through a lot for their love. A lot more than I'll ever have to go through. So, all I'm saying is I think they deserve the chance to be happy, especially when their love is so important to them."

Devi doesn't say anything back, just kicks his kitchen cabinet.

"Are you good?"

"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve love," she blurts out.

She can feel his eyes on her, but she doesn't look at him, just grabs another plate instead.

"Why do you think that?" he asks, tone genuinely curious.

"It's just—there's a lot of things I don't do right. I'm instinctive, down to earth, and sometimes a little selfish. I work long hours, so like, I don't know, what if I can't make time for the person I love?"

He stares at her for a few seconds before looking back at the dessert, placing forks on each plate casually. "This might sound cliché, but I think if the person you love is meant to be with you, they won't see all these things as faults. They'll see them as what makes you you."

"I don't know how people can't see those things as strengths," she says back bitterly.

"Well, _hypothetically,_ of course, you being instinctive could be interpreted as you being quick on your feet. And you're down to earth, which makes you honest and open to communication, so that can be appreciated in a relationship. You being selfish, well, at least you know what you want. You don't sell yourself short. It's better than constantly being selfless and getting hurt."

"I think—it's good to be selfless sometimes, but not all the time."

"See? Exactly. You know your worth. Don't worry Devi, you'll find someone who appreciates that."

Devi feels her heart warm and simultaneously chill at the same time. _He wanted her to find someone else?_ She opens her mouth and forces out a response. "Thanks, Ben. This helped a—a lot, actually."

"Of course," he says, picking up a few plates. "Way to make today about you, though."

She jerks her head up to find him smirking at her, and she narrows her eyes, flinging some caramel at him.

-

Ben thinks that she lingers.

Her presence, her scent, everything about her, it lingers. In his office, in his apartment, in his room.

He's not quite sure what to make of it, what to make of everything he does for her. Rushing through his work so he can visit her for ten minutes at the hospital, cooking something and showing up to her apartment to give her leftovers, or spending all of his free time with her.

In reality, he knows what this means, what exactly it means, but he won't say anything. He'll wait for her to.

Tonight, however, he's working late. He asked Devi if she wanted to get drinks with him and Shira after work, but she didn't text him back. He called her, but she didn't pick up. So he backed off, instead focusing on his cases, because he's learned that sometimes she gets busy, and he can't expect a prompt response from her.

His phone dings just then, and he races to grab it, reading the text. It's from Shira. _Devi alert,_ she writes. _Code Black._

His eyes widen as he stares at the screen, then drops his phone as if it's a burning hot object and picks up his folder, ruffling through it with pretend vigor. Devi had showed up at his office so often over the past few months, in varying states of distress, that Shira decided to text Ben every time she did, just so he could be prepared for her emotions of the day. She'd told them about the hospital codes, and what each one meant, so they'd naturally decided to use them to refer to her. Code Blue for when she was sad, Red for when she was inexplicably mad, and Yellow for when she seemed like she was in a good mood. Code Yellow occurred rarely. Devi didn't know, of course, because she'd probably stab them both with a needle if she knew they were talking about her behind her back.

However, he has no idea what the hell Code Black is, because Shira's never used it before, but he barely has time to process this before his door flings open and slams shut. He jumps and looks up, taking her in.

Devi looks like the definition of fervor, passion personified. She's intense, from her determined eyes down to her hands, in fists by her side. As she leans back against the door, chest heaving as if she just ran a marathon, Ben looks her over, trailing his eyes down her body. Her hair is wild, volume in the ebony waves, but she's wearing a dress, a red dress, and that's when Ben knows he's done for.

It's nothing extremely fancy, not a ballgown by any means. Just a short sleeve dress with a low neckline, ending a few inches from the tops of her thighs. But Devi looks like nothing short of a vision in it, and he can't stop staring at her. He stopped pretending about a month ago that she didn't affect him, because she does, immensely, and it's useless to pretend anymore.

He stands, because she's standing, and he always has to match her. "Hey. What's up?"

She clenches her jaw, as if she knows what she's going to say is problematic. "I—I have a date."

"Oh," he forces back, ignoring the fact that he can't breathe and that it feels like he's about to start drowning. "When?"

"I'm supposed to be there in twenty minutes."

He knows he shouldn't ask, that the rain is about to pour down, fall and drown them all out, but he has to.

"With who?"

She takes a shuddering breath, expression wrecked despite how put together she looks. "This guy, Jay. He works with me. Nice guy—super sweet, funny, smart."

Just then, Ben remembers Code Black is a bomb threat, meaning everything could blow up, everything is on the verge of explosion, smashing to pieces and damaging all in its path. In a way, it does feel right for what his heart feels like right now. The two of them are a ticking time bomb, and one small touch could blow the world to pieces.

"Ok," he says back, tone a little wrecked. "He—he sounds like a decent guy."

"He is."

"So, then," he asks, trying to swallow despite his closed throat. "What are you doing here?"

She takes another breath. "I don't feel ready."

"Devi, you said that when you went against me in court, and then you won the case. You said that when you took your intern exams, and then you passed. You said when you called your mom after that fight, and"—

"This is different, Ben."

Her words are relatively quiet, but still powerful enough for him to shut up. Suddenly, he feels a little angry, a little upset that she has that power over him, that he'll blindly do anything she says, so he turns it against her.

"Ok, well, what am I supposed to say?" he asks bitterly, hoping the hurt isn't evident in his voice, but suddenly not caring if it was. "I don't know what you want from me."

"I want—I want you to give me a reason to not go. Give me something, Ben. Because if not, if I'm reading into this—this thing we have, I'll go."

If his hands weren't shaking before, they were now. Ben can barely think straight with the heaviness that pushes its way into the room with her words. He's still standing by his chair, rooted to the spot, and he can't bring himself to do what he wants to so badly.

So, he speaks instead.

"You want a reason to stay? I'll give you more than one."

He walks over to stand in front of her, a foot away, farther than he usually stands from her. But right now, he feels closer to her than he's ever felt, as if they're strapped in together like two skydivers, about to jump off a plane into midair.

"I hate being close to people when I have panic attacks," Ben begins, swallowing roughly. "I hate spicy food, especially spicy food which isn't healthy. I hate drinking coffee with spices in it. I hate losing cases. I hate _paying_ people when I lose cases. Honestly, I just hate losing in general. I also hate hospitals, the smell and being inside and pretty much everything."

Devi stares back at him, face as bewildered as he feels, but he sees her muscles relax a little, and takes that as sign to keep going.

"But most of all, I hate you. I hate you for making me like the things I usually hate, and I hate you for how easily you did it."

He reaches forward and places his hands on either side of her waist, pulling her a little closer to him. Ben looks into her eyes, the deep brown he's come to love, lighter brown in the sun, and he smirks.

"Except I don't. I can't hate you. I couldn't from the first day, no matter how hard I tried to."

She doesn't respond for a few seconds, just darting her eyes all over his face, but then she grabs his shirt, fisting it, and kisses him.

The rain starts falling, and he drowns in it. He drowns in her.

She's everywhere, her scent invading his personal space, vanilla and coconut like he's loved from the beginning, her hands roaming his chest, and her soft sighs in his mouth, which tastes sweeter than caramel.

He pushes her against the door to kiss her harder, ignoring her sudden gasp, and slips his tongue between hers, tasting her. Now that he knows what she tastes like, he can't get enough, and he wants more, wants it right now.

She threads her hand in his hair, lightly scratching his scalp, and he just leans into her farther, trying to touch her body everywhere with his, trying to mold them together somehow.

Then, she seems to understand what's happening and breaks away, breathing heavily, as she leans forward to touch his forehead to hers.

"I don't hate you either," Devi says, smiling.

He's about to smile back when the door opens and he jumps back, pulling her with him to make sure it doesn't hit either of them.

"Oh," Shira says, standing there, looking very much unsurprised. "Finally."

-

Ben thinks about the day he first met her quite often, now. He had just come from his parents bailing on him for dinner yet again. He hadn't understood what he'd done wrong; he'd dressed up, brought wine, and even drove the Porsche Cayenne he knew his dad thought he drove everywhere.

He thinks about how he wasn't paying attention to how fast he was going because he was so upset, how dark it was on the back road, and that was his fault. His fault entirely.

But he can't help but feel that what happened afterward, that was the universe giving him something he'd needed.

From the moment he'd met Devi, she'd been nothing but a vision, a star shining in the night sky, bright and unique. She'd helped him realize that he was a star too, expressively rare, unconditionally respected and loved. Their encounter had been unbelievably stunning, as star collisions usually are.

**Author's Note:**

> didn’t mean to end on a 10 things i hate about you vibe there but hey thats what it is. hoped yall enjoyed reading and if you could leave a comment it'd make me smile :)
> 
> you can talk to me on tumblr, i'd love hearing from u guys! [tumblr](https://ravenclawbutcrabby.tumblr.com/)


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